Learn what it takes to go from being a survivor of toxicity and abuse to creating a powerful, healthy marriage.
Healing IS possible, and Kelly and Ned Vandiver from The Relationship Loft are here to light the way and show how to walk away from narcissistic abuse and completely change your life.
ALERT: This conversation covers domestic violence and abuse, so please be in a safe, calm space to listen to this episode. This episode is NOT suited for children.
Topics Covered with Kelly and Ned Vandiver
- Toxic relation patterns, boundary breaches, and challenges empaths / HSP’s tend to run into
- How Kelly and Ned managed to stay in their relationship
- How a strong commitment to one another facilitated a stable foundation
- How Kelly met her ex-husband during her early 20s
- Dysfunction gets worse with age when it’s not addressed
- How Kelly’s narcissistic ex-husband fits the qualifications of psychopathy
- Surviving a physically violent relationship with her ex-husband
- Finding the courage to overcome the fear of the consequences of walking away from the relationship
- Feeling like it’s scarier to leave than to stay in her past relationship
- How Kelly managed to take care of her children while pregnant and being treated violently
- What made Kelly start questioning her own sanity
- Finding the right therapist who would help her with her past situation
- Kelly’s disappointment with her family when they sided with her ex-husband
- Narcissistic manipulation tactics
- How Kelly downgraded and found a house on a mountaintop and began her healing
- Knowing what Kelly knows now, she wouldn’t have stayed at the first hint of violence
- How Kelly was able to emerge from gaslighting smear campaigns disconnection from reality
- The story of Ned meeting Kelly while bartending at an airport
- How Ned saw the pain and anguish on Kelly
- The reason why Ned has not been married despite having a son
- How Kelly and Ned’s relationship started from the day they met
- The point where Ned was starting to think twice about his commitment with his relationship with Kelly
- Importance of sex early in their relationship
- Why Ned suddenly disappeared and went silent for 24 hours
- How frustrated and sad Kelly was when Ned thinks they should just be friends
- Kelly is a big giver at heart and focused on encouraging people to be 100% of themselves
- How Ned overcomes his apprehension of commitment and views their relationship as an opportunity for growth
- How Ned manages to be the father of Kelly’s 8 children
- Kelly recalls how it was being married as a young 18-year-old
- How self-worth can help move on with bad relationships
- A lot of men suffer from low self-esteem and try to mask it
- Why a lot of men are afraid to open up
About Kelly and Ned Vandiver
Kelly and Ned Vandiver are both RLT (Relational Life Therapy) Practitioners who have dedicated the last 10 years of being together–to helping people transform their lives and marriages as leaders, healers and coaches in their local community & throughout the world.
Active parents of 8 children–3 grown, and 5 still at home, they have been living together, loving together, running business together, parenting together, creating together, and HEALING together for the last decade. They know first-hand HOW to intentionally create the conscious, healthy, happy, deeply connected marriage of their dreams through relational living, rolling up their sleeves, and doing the inner work as individuals and as a couple every single day.